


Burning Room

by kate_fy



Series: Arendelle-Nattura [1]
Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And Maren is a chaotic lesbian, Developing Relationship, Elsa is an idiot who loves Maren right, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, For the Win, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Romantic Fluff, elsamaren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25671142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_fy/pseuds/kate_fy
Summary: Everything was going smoothly until it wasn’t, until she found herself head over heels for a blonde with dark ghosts and heavy burdens. How much is Honeymaren willing to lose in order to gain? Will be worth it?OrIn which Maren falls for Elsa. Two gay idiots, a horny one and a very unaware one. Join their journey of self-discovery and acceptance. We know how it ends but not how it begins.[Prequel to from the ashes (we will rise).And no, you don’t have to read that one to understand this one]
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney), Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel
Series: Arendelle-Nattura [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858543
Comments: 72
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's me again!  
> I'm glad to see you, dear reader.  
> Yes, you're reading correctly... this is a lovely prequel filled with much young love and dorky people.  
> There will be drama, there will be slight angst but most impotantly, there will be GAY. And lots of Elsamaren. Like... A LOT.
> 
> So, join me and these idiots in love for a good ol' romantic ride.

The emptiness of the brand-new apartment only offered opportunity. For exploration, adventure, a new step ahead. The new life that was about to begin. The spacious living room with the open kitchen and floor to ceiling windows. The three-bedroom duplex with walk-in closet in the main room, a big bathroom with a tub and the feeling of freedom and luxury all in one. Everything smelled like home, as she pictured the furniture adorning every inc-

‘’Maren, could you please leave your damn interior design magazine and come help me with the boxes?’’ Ryder spoke from the hall of their small apartment in the school district. Her daydreaming clearly interrupted by the reality of freshly grad high schoolers finding their place in the world through attending college and getting a worthy degree. 

Reluctantly she got up, stomping her foot on the floor of the nearly empty apartment. A far away cry from the one she had pictured in her mind as she went through the coated pages. ‘’Why you have to be like that, Ry?’’ But he only shrugged in response. 

Taking the boxes that had HM written to her room and the ones with R to the adjacent one, they managed to clear the hall by lunch, taking a small break before jumping again to clean and organize. Her room wasn’t as big as the one she had back at home. This one was smaller but enough. Two windows to the left wall that provided enough light. A desk placed underneath to take good use of the natural lighting of the days, which also provided the distractions she wanted from the school work she knew would eventually consume her. 

Her bed was in the middle of the room. Bookshelves in front, a small closet to keep clothing items and everything seemed nicer as she made it homier. After all, she was going to spend the next couple of years in the place. 

‘’Are you nervous?’’ Ryder asked while entering her room and jumping in her freshly made bed. She groaned but abstained from  complaining . 

‘’ Of course I am! But I guess I’m more excited’’ She smiled widely, sitting down next to Ryder. How could she not be excited? She was a very socially skilled human and wasn’t hard to make friends. She wasn’t worried about that, not really. It was the whole experience that had her on edge, between irritable and overly excited. She wanted to learn  as much as possible, soon. ‘’What about you?’’ 

He sighed. ‘’I’m pretty chill. I don’t start till next week so, I still have time to freak out’’ True. He was attending another school to earn his bachelor’s degree in education, something he had been extremely happy about. The ‘always patient and eager to teach others, provide aid and assistance’ Ryder. 

‘’You’ll do great. We’ll do great. How about you order some pizza for dinner so I can finish getting ready for tomorrow?’’ She suggested, her tone light and carefree. 

He  nodded , stretching before getting up. But he stopped at the doorframe, turning around with a smile. ‘’Our parents would be proud of you’’ And he left, leaving her dumbfounded. 

They rarely spoke about them. Not only because it was a sensitive topic, but because there wasn’t much to talk about. They had died 4 years ago in a car accident; the twins were left alone to deal with their grief as their aunt Yelena took care of them. Got through high school without problems, good grades, good behavior, everything to make sure their parent’s image was clean and to make them proud. That got them into very good universities, choosing to stick together. Like always. Like it was meant to be since the womb. 

And there they were.  Honeymaren pursuing her dream of becoming a  successful lawyer and Ryder of teaching young children about everything really. They were the future – he would often say. They were each other’s support. Best friends, gone through thick and thin together. She was yet to find someone who could relate to the strong bond they shared. Someone who could understand the importance of, not only family but Ryder. He was important. 

The evening passed by quickly until night had fallen, pizza eaten and she had to face the fact that the first day of the rest of her life was approaching. Closer, so close it was nerve-wrecking. What was she supposed to expect? Was the whole making friends going to be easy like in high school? Or difficult?

The alarm was set for 7am, the first class started at 8:30am. 

She laid in bed that night wide awake. Dreaming of scenarios where everything happened smoothly, where life was easy. Good friends, great classes, courses and professors. Not much homework, not hard exams. The perfect image. With that thought in mind she drifted off to sleep. Her heart resting over the anxiety of the first week of university, the incoming adulthood and the new responsibility. 

** ❅ **

Through the crowded entry all the way to the kitchen, darkness engulfed everyone. Music blasting as souls moved to the rhythm of the beat. A solo DJ conquered the place. The colorful lighting turning the place dimensional. Red, green, yellow and blue. 

She floated, her body moving down to the kitchen where the fluorescent lights blinded her. Drinks were poured, cans of empty beers thrown, chips crushed on the white table. People yelling, singing, giggling loudly. The epitome of youth at its best. 

‘’Why do I feel in high school again?’’ She asked to Ryder as he handed her a beer. He merely shrugged, moving to the backyard and dragging her along. 

The warmth of the summer night striking her in the face, along the scent of smoke and alcohol. Everyone enjoying the last hint of freedom before books and assignments swallowed them all up. In the very back of the yard the group of people she knew – Eugene, Mulan and Jack. The only people she had spoken to and liked to. The rest, merely classmates. 

‘’Maren!’’ Eugene yelled her name once he spotted her, a red plastic cup in hand. He was the first person to approach her in the solitude that the first day of class was. The one who sat with her in all the classes, for they share the same schedule for now. The weird coincidence. ‘’Glad you could join us’’ 

The brunette smiled widely. ‘’Guys, this is Ryder my-’’

‘’Older brother’’ He intercepted, sharing his charming smile that always got him on everyone’s right side. 

But before he could do more, she pushed him aside. ‘’They know you’re my twin’’ 

And the evening got warmer instantly as beers turned into red cups and laughter and stories got told by everyone, as their group grew larger each passing second. They were mostly law students, all freshman and eager to figure everything out sooner than later, to absorb all the knowledge and jump into the world quickly. The evening turned into night when the sky turned darker than before, the starts dotting the firmament. 

Among the attendees were students from different faculties and schools, the only requirement was a quote of two dollars to cover up for the obvious mess – a future precaution – and that everyone had to be a first-year undergrad. It was a pretty chill environment, the music blasting and relaxing, depending on the side of the big fraternity house. Inside, the party dancers. Outside the chill/chatters. Make out sessions everywhere. 

She gulped down her drink – vodka and soda – her head feeling a little lighter yet still in her whole five senses. ‘’Refill. Be right back’’ She announced and departed, entering the messy kitchen and facing the cathartic youth. 

Whilst waiting for the rustic made bar to clear, her eyes scanned the surroundings. The entrance that led to the living room and recently transformed dance floor/make out hall was empty yet dark.  _ Tempting _ . Occasional light would come out, shadows moving but not much she could really identify. 

But in between all the mess, she spotted long platinum hair shining brightly against the darkness that swallowed everyone. A tall and slim figure entered the kitchen, her skin pale and eyes bright blue, like the ocean in the Caribbean or the clear sky in the middle of summer. She wore her wavy hair loose, a bright red shirt tucked into her black skinny jeans that looked like a second skin, sticking to her body and leaving nothing for her to imagine.  _ Or maybe too much _ . 

Her eyes moved up and down the girl that entered, feeling her cheeks flustered the second their eyes locked and she turned around fast, embarrassed. She had seen not only a ghost but a goddess. The shape of her face, rosy cheeks and red lips burned in her mind, the effect of alcohol enhancing her feelings as she felt herself getting flushed or aroused?  _ Both, definitely both _ . 

'’Hey’’ Mint breathing on her neck startled her and she turned around, almost spilling her half-poured drink everywhere. In front of her was the blonde in all her glory. Up close she could really notice the small faded freckles that adorned her cheeks and the softness of her skin. They remained quiet for a while, looking at each other. Maren felt her pulse reaching the roof, the intensity growing with each passing second. Until the girl cleared her throat. ‘’Are you done with that?’’ 

The brunette frowned confused but followed her gaze, landing on the bottle of vodka she was holding in a tight grip. ‘’Oh yeah! Sure, here’’ She handed her the alcohol, shoving it against her stomach, their hands touching momentarily. A blush crept into her cheeks. Wide eyed she gasped. ‘’Sorry. I’ll go’’ And she did. She left without looking back, holding onto the little dignity she had left. 

After the encounter, everything went downhill. She tried to engage in conversation with her friends but couldn’t take her eyes of her surroundings, praying to catch a glimpse even from afar of the blonde. And she did. Multiple times in fact. And each time, her eyes were glued to the mysterious figure of the girl who stood awkwardly in a group of friends but felt foreign. She walked with confidence but somehow shyly, timid under the expectant eyes.

‘’Take a picture, it’ll last longer’’ Ry’s voice startled her. ‘’What are you even watching?’’ He asked, moving closer to her and squinting his eyes to the other side of the yard, where the blonde was casually leaning, unaware of the prying eyes that were watching her. ‘’Oh wow’’ 

Maren opened her eyes in acknowledgement, turning around embarrassed. ‘’Shut up’’ 

‘’She’s really pretty. I approve. Why don’t you go talk to her?’’ The advice of a man who was yet to understand the complexity of the situation. She couldn’t help but scoff at him. ‘’What?’’ 

With an eye roll she replied. ‘’Look at her! Do you think she’s even into girls? Or into anyone who’s a first year? Everyone’s a loser here! I’m a loser, you’re a loser! No one stands a chance’’ 

Ryder smiled at her. ‘’Maren, Maren’’ He patted her shoulder. She watched his face fall as he stood straight, fixing her hair. ‘’Let me see your smile’’ And she smiled a little confused. ‘’Okay, now your  breath.  ’’Wow, alcohol. But good overall’’ He sniffed her neck as she took a step back. 

‘’What are you doing, Ry?’’ But he ignored her, as he continued his  assessment . He straightened her denim jacket, cleaned a little of her  smudged lipstick and smiled at her.

‘’Now, don’t panic. Act casual’’ But before she could ask anything else, Eugene – who had left the group sometime during the night to meet with his ‘more than friend’ friend – had returned. But he wasn’t alone. 

‘’Guys, this is Rapunzel’’ He introduced the girl everyone assumed was the girl he was crushing on. She was a dirty blonde, her hair incredibly long and bright green eyes. 

She smiled widely. ‘’Hey! You can call me Raps. This is – Where did she go? Elsa!’’ The joyful girl turned around in search of her companion who had gone missing in between the crowd of people. Maren was confused, for a lot of reasons. Ryder’s behavior, mainly. But Raps – who had gone searching for that Elsa girl – was returning, dragging along the blonde. With a beer in hand and red cheeks, the gorgeous girl was presented. ‘’Sorry guys. This is my cousin Elsa’’ 

_ Elsa.  _

They locked eyes for a brief moment. A chill ran down her spine. Was it fate or a mere coincidence? She wanted to believe the former. There was no way in hell meeting such a girl wasn’t her destiny. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know.  
> Only Maren's POV? Maybe, I think so... our girl deserves it.  
> Will it be a long story? Not really, though I can't make any promise.
> 
> While you're at this, read the sequel of from the ashes (we will rise), it'll be filled with one-shots and love. In all forms and shapes.  
> Oh, and it's called Higher than heaven.
> 
> That's all for today, see ya next week!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little treat for you and myself hehe

Saying that the start of the first year of school was easy, was a big and fat lie. Between all the assignments for every class that were due in the same week, the quizzes, study work, catching up with the lectures and reading the infinite amount of books and papers, she barely had any time left. And when she did, she spent it studying or preparing for upcoming classes. 

It was a mess. One she was gladly accustomed to and had a good system to go by. She wasn’t an easily stressed human in general, but the only thing that had her with an intense need of cutting someone’s head with a knife was the fact that Ryder was the happiest he had ever been. Not because he wasn’t stressed or didn’t have any work to do. But because apparently his schedule worked better and even allowed him to have a life. Social life. Friends. Hang out. As in _outside_ of his room. Something she hadn’t been able to do since the one and only party she attended a few weeks ago that felt like ages in the past. 

But the worst of it all was that not once she had caught a glimpse of the blonde following the event. And she was disgusted at herself for being all crazy-stalker about a girl she met once, spoke once and didn’t even care about her. Why would she? After Raps introduced her, she barely engaged in conversation and left pretty quickly when a redhead took her away. And the thought of that curly woman having Elsa for herself in the intimacy of her bed drove her to the edge. And not the nice edge, orgasmic, euphoric one. _Oh no_. More like the ‘I want to kill someone’ edge. 

Hence the being mad at Ryder. He wasn’t the one to blame but the one she could and would blame. _Of course_. 

Regardless, her self-inflicted isolation was driving her insane. Hair-pulling insane. High level. The highest she had seen in her 18 years of life. And she needed to do something about it. 

Her phone buzzed somewhere in her room and she jumped at the unexpected noise. _Destiny_. Whatever it was, it meant something. A call from the above that told her the group was meeting at The Club at 8, in case she wanted to join. They all could use some rest from studying. She texted a quick thumbs up emoji to the group chat as a confirmation of her attendance, before glancing at the clock that showed it was barely 6pm. 

But they say time flies when you’re having fun. Between her quick shower that took longer because she took the wise decision of shaving and the hair drying and hair fixing, it was 7pm when she made it out of the shower to get dressed. Her eyes scanned the limited section of decent clothing items that were precisely stored for occasions like these. Black skinny jeans, black boots, white crop top and her favorite leather jacket. 

‘’Damn girl’’ She stood in front of the floor mirror that stood in a corner of the room. ‘’You look nice, like a real heartbreake-’’ 

‘’What are you doing?’’ She was startled as Ryder asked while leaning over the doorframe, a smirk on his face. ‘’Talking to yourself?’’ 

Her cheeks turned red in embarrassment. ‘’A pep talk’’ She mumbled as she turned around to grab her purse, phone and keys. ‘’Whatever, you know? I’m going out with the guys’’ 

She hugged his brother goodbye as she promised to be careful and stay safe. She headed out the crowded streets of the city, filled with the intensity of Friday night and the heat of summer with that crispness of autumn that everyone loved. She hugged herself as she walked down the couple of blocks until reaching her destiny. 

The Club was one of the popular bars of the zone. It was mostly a student-exclusive one, which meant it was cramped every night. And that night it wasn’t any different. Luckily, someone had gotten there earlier and saved a space before the guards started limiting the access. 

She smiled once she spotted Eugene, the only person who shamelessly would yell her name across the place. She motioned the bar, where she headed to order something before heading to the booth. Between the multiple choices, she settled for a beer to begin with. 

‘’Hey, pal!’’ Her voice was loud yet for whatever reason unreachable for the bartender who was overwhelmed with orders. She didn’t push it and waited for her turn with the little patience she had. But that lasted only a few minutes, her thirst was bigger than his lack of organization. ‘’Dude! Excuse me?’’ 

‘’Having trouble?’’ The same minty breath she felt weeks ago made her heart stop. She turned around to meet the blonde, who was now smiling softly at her. ‘’What are you ordering?’’ 

She licked her lips softly, between the increasing need to keep her close and bring some sense into herself, hold onto anything to ground her. ‘’B-Beer’’ 

Elsa nodded, moving between the two people and standing next to the counter. She whistled. ‘’Hey, can I have 2 beers?’’ The bartender who had been basically ignoring Maren, nodded. Seconds later, two bottles of beer were placed in front and a few dollars passed. ‘’Keep the change’’ 

Had that been the hottest thing she had witnessed in the short time she was in the city? Yes, she could even add her whole life. Maren tried to pay her back but Elsa refused, shrugging it off as they made their way to the booth that was not only filled with people she knew but people she actually had never met. They introduced themselves as friends of Elsa and Raps, art students like the latter and econ undergrads like the former. A variety of degrees but all first-year, which made the experiences quite similar. 

‘’Are you a law student then?’’ Elsa asked, tilting her head in curiosity. The brunette nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence. Instead she took a sip of her beer. ‘’That sounds fun’’ 

‘’Does it?’’ She asked teasingly but the blonde shook her head softly, grinning. ‘’I thought so. Not that economy sounds any better though’’ 

That elicited a loud laugh from the blonde, whose hand covered her mouth in an extremely regal and composed way. ‘’You have a good point there’’ 

They chatted like old pals about life. She got to learn more about the mysterious blonde that kept stealing her nights by appearing in her dreams, and not once she got the confirmation of what she was looking for. Still, she felt that need to know more about her. There was just too much to discover and to understand from her. Her blue eyes wide in expectation every time the brunette would speak. Her full attention, small smiles, small frowns. Details that went unnoticed by so many but not by her. 

‘’I’ll go get something else. You want something?’’ She asked while getting up. 

‘’Only if you let me pay this time’’ The brunette added but Elsa dismissed her again. 

‘’Nonsense. I'll get you another beer’’ And she turned around to leave. Maren couldn’t help but let her gaze follow the blonde. She was wearing a short black leather skirt that enhanced the length of her legs and a tight long sleeve black shirt. The whole outfit highlighting the paleness and smoothness of her white, milky skin. 

She turned her gaze back to the crew and was met with Eugene, who was smirking at her. Her smile fell but luckily, he didn’t say nor did anything other than offering her the wiggle of his eyebrow. Was she being that obvious? Well, it wasn’t really her fault. Everyone turned around to glance at the blonde, drinking her in. Why couldn’t she? What would her mother say of such a misogynistic behavior? That girl was more than her looks, she was funny and nice. Beautiful yes, but also smart. 

Her sudden appearance startled her. ‘’Oops, sorry’’ 

But Maren just smiled, trying to hide her flustered cheeks. ‘’So, tell me about your family’’ Because that wasn’t a random topic at all, borderline creepy. 

Elsa smiled before taking a sip of her new drink that looked like gin and tonic. ‘’I have a younger sister, Anna. She’s 15, going through high school right now and she lives with my parents. What about you?’’ 

‘’I have a twin brother, Ryder. You’ve met him. But that’s about it, really. We used to live with my aunt before moving here and before that, with our parents but they passed away’’ Maren commented it nonchalantly, missing the way Elsa froze at the mention of it. The guilty look on her face. 

‘’I’m sorry’’ She mumbled with furrowed brows. The cutest sight Maren had ever seen, which made her feel anything but sad. How could she think of her parents when her thoughts kept drifting to random sexual scenarios where she was met with those rosy lips. 

She smiled at the blonde. ‘’It’s alright, that happened a long time ago’’ 

Time went by and the clock pointed 11pm. The bar was at its highest peak of attendance, everyone basically drunk or getting there, but neither was the case of them. While they were still drinking, it was more about the conversation they were holding rather than the alcohol itself. 

Learning about Elsa felt like a refreshing experience, like reaching the top of mount Everest. Conquering an unknown territory, winning a global prize, discovering a new element. It wasn’t scary, more like exciting and overwhelming. She was all that. Finding out she was an Arendelle was something else, the rectification of everything she was and what she could be. The amount of power being held in her hands that she refused to use. 

Their conversation was interrupted once, by Eugene and Rapunzel. ‘’Elsie! We’re going back to our apartment. If you know what I mean’’ The green eyes girl winked at her, which made both girls frown in dislike. ‘’I suggest you stay at a hotel, or stay here for a few hours. I see you’re having fun. I’m sorry, it’s payback for the other day’’ 

The blonde rolled her eyes but nodded regardless, glaring at Eugene as he passed by next to her. ‘’Take care of her or I’ll have your head’’ His eyes went wide and he nodded, muttering an ‘I like her’ behind her back. Maren chuckled. 

‘’The other day, huh?’’ She tried not to sound accusatory but her question came out more like a jealous partner than anything else. She laughed to cover up the roots of her inquiry. 

‘’Yeah, a mistake I’m not planning on doing again’’ She whispered while sipping her drink. ‘’Well, I guess I’ll get going to that lovely hotel that’s waiting for me’’ 

The brunette frowned confused, biting her lower lip in consideration. Her internal debate growing louder and bigger each passing second. This was an opportunity she couldn’t pass and not because it could lead to something else, oh no. But because it was about helping a friend and not having them stay at a probably expensive hotel, blocks away. What would her mother say? Or her brother? 

‘’You could stay at our place? I live a few blocks down the street’’ She suggested, her fingers crossed under the table. She met Elsa’s gaze for a second, as she considered the idea. Her mouth went to the side, deep in thought. 

‘’I’ll text Anna your address in case you want to murder me’’ At the response Maren laughed. ‘’No, but I’m serious. I’m trusting you right now, only because leaving this place and walking more than 6 blocks alone is riskier than leaving with you’’ 

The brunette nodded in understanding. Of course a woman walking alone in the middle of the night was risky and scary, she understood the difficult decision but knew that choosing to go with her was the wisest. They left shortly after, arriving less than 10 minutes later to the apartment building. 

‘’Aren’t you cold?’’ Maren asked, watching Elsa’s arms wrapped around her torso. 

‘’A little. I didn’t think of the weather being like this’’ She complained while glancing up at the sky that now looked grey-ish. The street was still crowded, even if it was midnight. Maren opened the door of the building with her keys, closing it behind and motioning Elsa to walk up the stairs to the 5th floor. 

‘’I know, don’t even tell me’’ Leaving the apartment hunting to Ryder had been one of the worst decisions she had ever made. Every single day had been a nightmare to reach the fifth floor but he thought it was time to get fit. As if anyone had time. 

While she reached the top of the stairs a mess, Elsa did it flawlessly. ‘’Yoga’’ She shrugged. And Maren rolled her eyes, grabbing her keys and opening the door. To her surprise Ryder was in the middle of the kitchen, shirt off in his sweatpants and baking. 

‘’Hello!’’ He greeted them while taking off an earphone. Elsa stood by the entrance awkwardly, her cheeks red. She was shy, that wasn’t something new but her hands were hidden inside the sleeves of her shirt, her gaze on the floor. Ryder smiled at the sight of the blonde, smirking at Maren. ‘’I’ll put on a shirt’’ 

And he disappeared through his door, reappearing fully dressed. ‘’Elsa, remember Ryder?’’ 

The blonde nodded, stretching her arm to greet the boy but he frowned, throwing himself to give her a hug. Maren watched her freeze in place, a little taken aback by the action. ‘’Oh, a hugger’’ 

‘’We are all huggers here, get used to that love’’ Ryder said while returning to the kitchen and his baking shenanigans. ‘’This is the midnight snack. We have raspberry muffins here, banana ones in the oven and freshly made tea, the whole Queen Elizabeth II experience’’ 

Elsa chuckled, as Maren dragged her to the kitchen counter. Ryder placed a muffin for each to try, moaning at the taste of the deliciousness. ‘’This is the best I’ve had in forever’’ The blonde spoke, taking another bite. The boy smiled proudly as Maren rolled her eyes. 

‘’Are those for us?’’ She asked but he shook his head. 

‘’Nope, for my study group. We have a big test on Monday and we’re spending tomorrow at the library. I thought we could use a cheer up’’ Maren shook her head at the always nice brother she had. He was overly protective of those he cared about, a trait he had clearly inherited from their mother and grandmother. Oh, and his cooking/baking skills. Although Maren wasn’t deficient in that aspect, he clearly exceled at it. 

After eating their muffins and talking a little about their small hang out at the bar, they came to the conclusion that sleeping time was indeed needed. Ryder left to his room, leaving them alone. 

‘’Okay, you can sleep in my bed and I can sleep here’’ Maren commented while getting up from the stool and moving to her room to retrieve a few items. But Elsa stopped her. 

‘’What? No, if anything I should be the one sleeping in the couch’’ But the brunette knew better than to let a guest sleep in the couch. She shook her head, ignoring the blonde and continuing her path. ‘’Maren’’ 

She turned around astonished by the nickname the blonde as chosen, one she only allowed Ryder to use but sounded better in Elsa’s soft voice. The movement was so sudden, she crashed into her. ‘’Sorry’’ She apologized quickly, taking a step back. ‘’I can’t let you sleep on the couch, that’s not what my parents taught me. Do you want them to roll in their graves?’’ 

The blonde gasped in shock. ‘’This is blackmail, manipulation. You can’t use that card on me, Nattura’’ 

The brunette smiled. Another nickname, sweet. ‘’Yeah, that was bad. But my parents taught me better than that. I cannot let you sleep on the couch. If Ryder comes out of his room and finds you there, he’ll come get me and kick my ass. Do you want that to happen?’’ She asked, almost pouting. 

She couldn’t remember a time in which her convincing skills were as effective like that moment. Elsa’s arms uncrossed from her chest, lowered to her sides. ‘’How about we share the bed?’’ The brunette’s cheeks burning red, gulping down whatever smart and logical retort she had for the suggestion. 

‘’Sure’’ 

_Why did that feel like the worst idea ever?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't talk about schedules because I'm terrible at following them.   
> If you know, you know lol   
> Btw, can you tell who's the horny one of the two? lmao I feel ya Maren. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you're having a lovely week. 
> 
> See ya soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because my brain died while writing it. 
> 
> Still, enjoy it!

If at any given moment of her entire existence she thought she’d spend a night with the woman she was crushing hard for, with no indications of doing anything other than sleeping, she’d say:  _ bullshit _ . But that night she was unable to sleep properly. She had handed Elsa one of her shorts and oversized shirts, the image of the blonde wearing her clothes kept burning brightly in her mind every time she closed her eyes. 

She’d had lovers in the past, whom she had shared a bed with. Lovers. Not that many, really. Two, actually. Well, more like one and a half. One former lover that meant a stablished relationship that lasted a year. And a two-night stand that helped her discover the fact that she was into girls more than into boys. More like not into boys _ at all _ . 

But having Elsa’s body pressed against her, as her breathing was evened out, emanating warmth and comfort, that felt like something new. While Maren tried to stay as far away as possible, Elsa kept reaching out to her,  unconsciously seeking for that other source of warmness. Slowly, the brunette turned around, moving to face the sleeping figure of the blonde. 

She looked like an angel, peaceful and serene. She forced herself not to reach out and touch her skin, that looked incredibly soft. Tempting. Calling out to her like a siren in distress, ready to enchant her. Her hair was in a ponytail, leaving her neck exposed to the moonlight. And Maren’s eyes roamed her exposed skin. Wondering how it would taste, sweet like candy or salty like sand? Or maybe none, and it’d taste fresh like snow. Like the color of her skin under the light of the stars. 

_ Get a grip, Maren.  _

The blonde moved closer to her; in that instant she was able to smell the scent of everything she was. It was more than the mint she had identified every time she was around. She smelled like a mixture of chamomile and lavender with hints of something else, something that reminded her of nature and the forest, of freedom and boldness. The scent was so refreshing she found herself relaxing under the mystic spell of her aroma. 

_ Creepy. _ She felt like Jean-Baptiste  Grenouille , except she wasn’t a murderer. Just creepy. And apparently intoxicated by this woman who had just entered her life and with whom she knew felt a deeper connection. Although there were no  indications she felt the same. But having the  privilege of just being an acquaintance in the big world she knew the blonde belonged to, was enough. Should be enough. It didn’t feel enough though. 

She sighed deeply, turning around and forcing herself to think of something else. Her past, her utopic future, anything but the magical sleeping figure next to her. And with that thought in mind she drifted off to sleep, counting  sheep that had long platinum blonde hair. 

* * *

The morning rays illuminated the room, casting a powerful glow, something she was beginning to grow accustomed to but wasn’t still fond of. It was the first thing she noticed before peeling her eyes open and waking up fully. The next thing she recognized was the body sleeping on her chest, how their legs were intertwined together and her arms around her. It felt weird, yet nice. And she was grateful for the wisest decision of shaving the day before.

Her heart beat fast, a little scared and terrified. When did that thing happened or how? She  careful tried to extricate herself from the blonde’s sleeping position, without disturbing her peaceful slumber. But as she was about to call it a  successful mission, the girl stirred, looking up to meet the brunette. 

‘’Sorry’’ She mumbled after a few seconds of awkward silence, followed by an eye rub that looked incredibly cute for someone who was older than 2 years-old. ‘’I think I should go’’ 

And before Maren could protest, the blonde was already standing, a little clumsy due to the just waking up thing but still looking flawless like the night before. She disappeared through the door, grabbing her clothes in the process as the door of the bathroom was closed. And the brunette couldn’t do anything other than throw herself back to the mattress and exhale loudly. 

Despite the  mixed-up feelings and the confusing situation, she managed to get up and move her ass to the kitchen. At least to make some breakfast. It was around 9am and Ryder had already left for his study session of the day but had left behind a few muffins for the girls to enjoy. 

As she waited for the coffee to brew, she watched Elsa step out of the bathroom. Her hair was in a low ponytail, much like the one she had but freshly combed. And was wearing the clothes of the night before, her slender legs making an appearance and stealing the show. ‘’Everything okay?’’ Maren asked casually, feeling for the girl’s awkwardness. 

The blonde sighed, putting the borrowed clothes that were neatly folded on the couch and moving to sit by the kitchen counter. ‘’I’m sorry, I thought I scared you with all the clinginess’’ 

‘’Clinginess?’’ 

Elsa shrugged. ‘’Yeah, I’m not usually like that. I don’t know what came over me, must be the alcohol’’

She wanted to ask more about her usual behaviors, wanted to learn about her but everything was supposed to happen at its time. Her mom would’ve suggested the advice that things take time and to let things go at their own pace, not to rush into anything. She might as well listen to that, her own made up advice. ‘’So, breakfast?’’

The blonde grinned, nodding softly and reaching out to grab one of the banana muffin Ryder had left for them. ‘’He does have big baking skills’’ 

‘’Tell me about it. All he does is cook and bake. And then he goes and get us an apartment on the fifth floor with no elevator just because we should get fit! Can you believe that? The  hypocrisy ’’ Maren rambled, watching Elsa snort and chuckle at the comment. 

‘’Well, he does have a point. Though I could have a  muffin-based diet’’ The retort elicited a laugh from the brunette who shook her head. Their eyes met briefly, their conversation setting in a comfortable pace. Like all time friends. 

She poured the freshly brewed coffee, steaming hot. ‘’So, how has the first few weeks of school treated you?’’ 

‘’Don’t even remind me. I think I’m moving in to the library. My apartment is way too far from the campus, I’m rethinking the whole moving there and actually setting a tent outside the main hall’’ She replied while taking a sip from her drink. ‘’You’re lucky this apartment’s like a block away’’ 

Yeah, the only thing she could really complain about was the elevator issue. The rest was perfect. Ryder was a great guy, had a charming smile and personality and was amazing at bargain. So, when the apartment was listed as available, he ran to meet the owner and did his work. Offered him some pastries, a good conversation and the deal was made. 

The apartment though small, had one bathroom and two bedrooms. A pretty decent kitchen, a spacious living room and was in a very good district and extremely close to the campus, which was always a pro. Especially on those long night they had to stay late on the library. Like the one Elsa was commenting. 

‘’Well, you could always come and crash here. You know the place, how to get here and it’s safer than a tent out in the open’’ The suggestion was genuine, out of pure concern and generosity for the blonde’s wellbeing. 

The blonde smiled. ‘’Thank you, that means a lot’’ She drank the last of her coffee and sighed. ‘’I think I should go now, take a shower and return to those discarded pages of microeconomics that I left behind’’ 

Maren nodded, stretching her arms and groaning. ‘’Yeah, I should go back to my essay on administrative law. Our lives are so boring’’ 

And she watched the blonde grab her stuff, walking behind her to the main door. ‘’I think we should hang out again’’ Elsa commented as she opened the door. ‘’It’s nice to have a friend who doesn’t talk about classes and whom I don’t have to hear complain about numbers all day’’ 

The brunette smiled. ‘’Yeah, we should definitely hang out again. You can drop by anytime or meet up somewhere’’ She grabbed a small post-it notes that were discarded on the small table by the door and scribbled her number. ‘’Text me or call me’’ 

Elsa nodded, smiling at her. ‘’I will. Thank you for letting me stay the night, you’re very kind’’ And she turned around as Maren watched her leave and walk down the stairs until  disappearing completely from her sight. 

She closed the door behind her as she leaned back, letting out a loud sigh. _'’Oh boy, I am fucked_ ’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't we all fucked, Maren? Let's be honest. 
> 
> AAAAAnyway, I'll try to update sooner than later hehe   
> So yeah, if I don't then it's because I've been writing other stuff. Yes, smack me in the back of the head for not focusing on one task at a time. Sorry, my inner gemini. 
> 
> Hope you have a great week!  
> Stay safe, see ya!


	4. Chapter 4

She collapsed in the uncomfortable chair with force, her head coming to rest on the cold table as she sighed loudly. ‘’Please tell me this year is over’’ 

A hand reached out to pat her back. ‘’It’s the middle of October, still. I’m sorry’’ The soft voice of her classmate Greta reached her ears as she faked a sob. Between the endless assignments and papers due, she was slowly being consumed by college. Her death slow but painful. 

‘’But as always, Eugene comes to the rescue’’ She looked up to meet him, his gaze turned into a clear smirk filled with  mischievous plans.  _ Oh no _ . ‘’Halloween Bash’’ He smashed a flayer on the table, earning a few glares from the people at the library who were actually trying to get some studying done.

She snatched the paper from his hands before he could say anything else. It was a costume party at a local abandoned building, that would miraculously turn into a decent place. It was too good to be true. ‘’Is this open? Or just for first year?’’ 

‘’Open. It’s a building owned by someone’s dad. You know the drill; rich kids get to do these things and we get to have fun’’ He commented, leaning back on his chair, an air of superiority that was quickly erased when the chair was pushed too far and he fell backwards. ‘’Anyway’’ He added after regaining his dignity and the girls calming themselves down. ‘’It’s in two weeks. If I were you, I’d start planning my costume’’ 

With a grunt she threw her head back to the table. It wasn’t fair how long her to do list was getting and that her mind was still going to the beautiful blonde that showed no signs of wanting to be more than just casual  acquaintances . 

Regardless, she forced herself to study and finish an  essay due to the following day before exiting the library. The day was sunny, people crowded outside spending time drinking in the lovely evening. But she was in a bad mood, not even her favorite pie baked by Ryder would change it. 

‘’Maren?!’’  _ Shit _ . The melodic and sweet voice that haunted her dreams filled the space surrounding her. She forced herself not to turn around fast but she did it quicker than intended. In the middle of the – surprisingly clear sidewalk – was Elsa, standing awkwardly in all its beauty. If she thought she looked smoking hot when dressed for a night out, she was dead wrong. Under the sunrays that casted a light glow on her already light hair color, she stood. Wearing a pair of light blue jeans and a simple rose sleeveless shirt. Her arms and shoulders exposed to the sun and to her, the milkiness of her skin calling out to her- 

_ Stop it. _

‘’Hey, Elsa!’’ She approached her, shielding her eyes from the sun. ‘’How are you?’’ 

The girl smiled widely, tugging on her cotton bag. ‘’I’ve been good. Overwhelmed with school but that’s not new. What about you?’’ 

‘’Same. Just got out the library, actually. But good, overall’’ The brunette added, smiling back at the girl. They settled into a silence that though was vacant, didn’t feel uncomfortable. Well, she was still forcing herself not to eye the girl up and down, but that was another topic. ‘’So... are you going to the Halloween bash?’’ 

Blue eyes lit up at the mention of it. ‘’Well, I was planning on. I don’t really know what to wear though. Maybe I’ll go with a solid choice, pirates or country-girl'’ 

Maren snorted. ‘’Please don’t. I’m sure there’s a lot more for you than that. And there’s a prize for the best costumes?’’ 

‘’Yeah, maybe I’ll pull out some sexy bunny  costume to win’’ She joked, Maren returning the smile. But inside her brain, the picture of her wearing one was imprinted and burning brightly. Her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. 

She cleared her throat, looking away. ‘’Sure! I can help if you want’’ She muttered to herself though the suggestion reached to more audience than intended. 

‘’Would you help me pick a costume?’’ Her blue eyes bore into hers, waiting expectantly for an answer. And she felt herself frozen on her spot, terrified of saying the wrong thing. But what could go wrong, really? They were friends, or could become potential friends. 

‘’Yeah, if you want me to. I’m having trouble with mine too, maybe we can help each other out’’ Her ears turned red but she remained calm despite her fastened heartbeat. 

They parted ways with the promise of seeing each other on Saturday. And she couldn’t stop cursing herself all the antics. She was happy, her heart fluttering with excitement at the potential not date-date but still, she was nervous. Elsa made her nervous. She didn’t know what to expect from her, never knew what she was thinking or what she wanted. And she thought she was  _ so _ good at reading people. 

But who was she kidding? This was bound to crash and burn. The lack of straight answers and intentions coming from her, worked as the perfect excuse to turn her back and move on. There were plenty of other fishes around. Then why she kept going back to the blonde? The  _ straight _ blonde who wanted nothing to do with her? 

With a grunt she opened the door and forcefully closed it behind. ‘’Fuck’’ She let go, slumping to the floor and hugging her knees. 

‘’ Honeymaren would you mind your words, please?’’ Ryder appeared through his bedroom. ‘’Vocalize your feelings and  frustrations ’’ 

She looked up at him with a frown. He was wearing some sweatpants and going shirtless again. Clearly in the middle of some meditation of some sorts. ‘’What do I do, Ry?’’ 

‘’With what?’’ he asked, moving to the kitchen to pour himself some warm tea. ‘’Meditate, that’s always the answer’’ 

She groaned, getting up and dragging her backpack behind. ‘’No, idiot. With Elsa! How do I get over my crush?’’ 

He nodded, looking at her pitifully. ‘’You kiss her’’ He suggested but the glare he received made him rethink his advice. ‘’Or, you can download a dating app and put yourself out there. You’re still available and young’’ With that, he left. Closing the door behind as she was left alone to deal with the shitty advice that was given to her. 

On top of all the things she needed to do, now adding a dating app and  maintaining a social life would definitely be her doom. If it wasn’t for the smoking hot blonde that entered her life with no  permission , she wouldn’t be having that big dilemma. Yes, Elsa was totally to blame. She was just a confident young girl with her goals set, whose world was turned upside down just for some chick. Wow, that was extremely superficial. Elsa wasn’t just some  chick; she was a human being and extremely nice. And beautiful. With those big eyes and lovely smile- 

_ Fuck.  _

She locked herself in her room, collapsing immediately in the warm bed. In two more  days, she would be seeing her again and things would be okay. She was an adult  now; she could deal with  these things . Continue her life like nothing had happened. 

For a solid second, she thought she had achieved it. Thursday and Friday passed by faster than she could count and when Saturday morning came, she woke up feeling rested, her new driven motivation making her feeling refreshed. She took a quick shower, put on some shorts, a tucked in shirt and her favorite converse and left the apartment to meet the blonde for breakfast. 

Soho wasn’t her favorite area but it looked gorgeous in the morning with the sunrays and autumn vibe. Inside her bag was a cardigan in case things got chilly during the day. Though part of her knew the least she would feel would be cold.  _ Damn. _

The coffee house chosen by the blonde was hidden in between two big restaurants. It was small, quite vintage and filled with plants and a rustic air that made her feel relaxed and calm. At the very back she found the blonde sitting, sipping what it looked like coffee and deeply focused on a small book she held in her hand. Her hair was pulled to the side in a single braid. Her legs pale and long showing thanks to the short floral skirt she was wearing and her slim figure  accentuated by the tight white  t-shirt she wore.

She sighed. A lost battle, for sure. She looked gorgeous sitting there, unaware of the prying eyes of the brunette. She touched her arm softly before moving to sit in front, her gaze moving up from the book and meeting hers. ‘’Hey’’ 

‘’Hey’’ she replied with a smile, closing the book and putting it aside. 

‘’I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long’’ The brunette offered, sharing a sheepishly look. 

At the comment, the blonde smile widened. ‘’Not at all. I actually come here every available free time to relax and get some really good food. It’s my favorite place in the world’’ 

They locked eyes. Through the clear blue she could spot the sincerity behind her words and something else she couldn’t quite describe. There was a feeling of easiness around the other that fitted perfectly, an enjoyable peace. Per request of the blonde, Maren ordered  French toast with some scrambled eggs and bacon. While the former opted for some blueberry pancakes and fruits. 

‘’Wow, this is delicious’’ Maren sighed, chewing down the food. ‘’I think Ryder has competition’’ 

‘’Oh no. I don’t think these will match Ryder’s baking’’ Elsa added while taking a bite of her food. Letting out a contentment hum. ‘’But they’re close’’ 

They shared another heartwarming glance before going back to eating in a comfortable silence, interrupted only by some casual laughing and trivial conversation. It felt so natural, how effortlessly everything moved between the two not friends- friends. 

The last bite of her food was downed by a sip of her lukewarm green tea. ‘’Have you thought about a costume yet?’’ 

The blonde shook her head. ‘’Not really. I mean, I want something simple. I don’t want to draw much attention to myself’’  _ As if she didn’t already. _

‘’Are you going with someone?’’ Maren suddenly asked, the inquiry making her cheek turn bright. ‘’I- I mean, for costume purposes’’ 

Elsa chuckled. ‘’I’m going with my friends. And you. You’ll be there, right?’’ The brunette nodded, hiding herself behind the cup of cold tea. ‘’Maybe we could match’’ 

She chocked. On her tea. Elsa’s eyebrows rose in concern as she stretched her arm to pat her back. ‘’I’m fine, thank you’’ Maren wiped her mouth with the napkin before meeting her blue eyes again. ‘’You mean, us? You and I, matching?’’ 

‘’Yeah, why not? Something funny, like friend related’’  _ Oh _ . She was completely oblivious of the obvious tension going on there. While it wasn’t reciprocated, it was there and no amount of denial would actually erase it.

With the idea in mind they left the coffee shop and moved to the costume store. It was big, massive. A two-story building filled with everything anyone could dream.  Halloween- themed decorated and a little cramped for their taste but it was better than nothing. Together they went through every possible outfit, going through the cheap ones that looked extremely ugly, getting to the expensive ones that Maren had trouble believing she’d be able to pay for. 

They grabbed a few for the other to try on and entered the fitting room that luckily was  deserted . The first she tried on was a wonder-woman one, but she felt ridiculous and changed it quickly for something else. A sexy devil one that Elsa definitely had chosen. Why? She didn’t know. 

‘’Are you ready?’’ She heard the blonde yelling from her side of the fitting room. 

‘’Yes’’ And she came out, waiting impatiently for the girl to appear, who was wearing a short cheerleader one that fitted her body perfectly. ‘’10’’

‘’No’’ They spent an hour inside trying on costumes and finally left with their hands empty. ‘’You should’ve taken the  Pocahontas one! It looked so good on you’’ Elsa complained as they walked down the street to the local park. 

‘’I’ll get that one, only if you go as Legally blonde’s bunny’’ She teased the blonde, who pouted. 

‘’That’s unfair. You looked amazing in that costume. I don’t even know where to get something like that. And even if I did, I’d look ridiculous!’’ Elsa complained, turning to walk backwards as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

To say she looked incredibly cute was something that was beyond Maren’s words. She was speechless when it came to define the blonde. ‘’Okay. Maybe I’ll get the dress, maybe I won’t. We shall see, in the meantime... we leave it a surprise for the other’’ 

With the offer lay in the open, Elsa nodded. ‘’A surprise then? What do I win if I surprise you?’’ Her voice lowered an octave and Maren knew deeply that Elsa was playing with fire.

‘’ Whatever you want from me’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head hurts and I can't think of anything. 
> 
> Have a safe weekend.   
> See ya!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's been too little updates in general of my favorite stories which I understand lol   
> But I was like, fuck it. I will update just for the sake of it hehe  
> It's not fully proofread and it doesn't convince me at all but yeah
> 
> Here it is, enjoy.

It was the longest and exhausting week of her life. It was no secret school was consuming her life but on top of that, there was the increasing and desperate need to see Elsa again. The promise of an imminent surprise kept her on edge. In between classes – sometime that week – she had snuck out to buy the costume. If Elsa wanted her to be Pocahontas, then she would be the hottest and most amazing one. Just for the blonde.

Truth be told, she used to be obsessed with the movie. The characterization and the representation she felt as a child towards the image of a native-American young girl with a free-spirited personality that resembled herself too much. She’d watch Pocahontas non-stop. And it came as a surprise the fact that she was now comfortable enough to portray her with the passion she knew she would. It was something not many would understand. A secret pact between her current and young self.

Her long hair was straightened and left to fall down her back as she put the costume on. The perfect fit for her body, wrapping around every inch of her skin. Elsa had seen something, though she was having trouble wondering what. 

‘’Wouldn’t little Maren be proud?’’ Ryder commented while entering the room. He was wearing a superman costume that looked a little too tight. ‘’You look too sexy, though. R rated for sure’’ 

She rolled her eyes, tugging the dress downward in a futile attempt to cover herself a little. ‘’Elsa chose it’’ 

‘’I see’’ He commented with a smirk. She glared at him but didn’t add anything else. The sun had set when they left the apartment, taking a cab for the sake of not embarrassing each other further. The building wasn’t that far from their home but still, they went with the safe option. 

Upon arrival they were faced with the massive event. It wasn’t a building as they had promoted it but more like a parking lot turned into a big closed event. There were at least 600 people and she cursed at herself for thinking it would be a small gathering. 

The music was blasting  and, on each  corner, there were big bars opened for everyone who wanted to take a sip. Guards posted everywhere for safety measures and the dance floor was surrounded by sitting areas. It was a nice place, despite the fullness. 

It didn’t  take long for them to find their friends. Eugene was leaning over Rapunzel, both dressed as pirates. ‘’Guys!’’ he yelled, waving at them. And suddenly, they were surrounded by the comfort of familiarity. ‘’This is Merida. Elsa’s friend’’ Eugene introduced the  redhead; the same one Maren had seen that night at the party. She couldn’t help but feel a pinch of  jealousy . 

‘’Hello’’ She greeted them with a thick  Scottish accent and it didn’t take long for Ryder to find himself  entangled in conversation with her. While her eyes kept scanning around looking for the blonde. 

‘’Looking for someone?’’ Rapunzel asked, smirking at the girl. ‘’She’s not here yet. You’re all going to die when you see her’’ 

Maren gulped, feeling the beating of her heart increasing with an overwhelming speed. It was the anticipation and the high expectations she had for the night and for whatever costume the blonde had chosen. She was certain Elsa could dress as a fucking clown and she’d find it the hottest thing in the world. 

Her gaze wandered around as she continued to drink from her beer. She felt stupid, really but couldn’t help herself. Even if it had been half an hour and there were no signs of the blonde. The worry grew like weed, even with the confusion the lack of concern Raps showed. She returned to the conversation, smiling at Ryder who continued to charm everyone. 

She allowed herself to look away for a second when she felt the world coming to a halt. The music kept blasting through the speakers yet almost everyone was looking at something. Or rather  _ someone _ . 

Elsa was standing by the entrance clearly lost, but once their eyes locked the blonde smiled which elicited a smile in return from Maren. With confident steps, she watched her walk closer, her jaw dropping to the floor and heart beat fastening once she was able to see her clearer. Bunny ears in a headband that adorned her long and wavy blonde hair. She was wearing the bunny costume, a one-piece bodysuit, Elle wood’s bunny costume inspired that looked ridiculously hot in her. Curves accentuated; smooth long and never-ending legs; her milky skin shining under the lighting and in contrast with the blackness of the costume. 

And Maren allowed herself to breathe, letting out an obnoxious sigh of bliss. ‘’Hi’’ The blonde shyly greeted her once she approached the group. 

‘’Hey, you look... I-… you-... hot’’ She managed to say, cheeks burning red with embarrassment. She could feel Ryder shaking his head behind her, in pure amusement at the idiot mess her sister was. 

Elsa smiled. ‘’You look hot too. The outfit was made for you’’ The brunette gulped, heartbeat accelerating each second. The blonde greeted the rest as Maren’s gaze moved to the hungry boys from around the place that were eagerly roaming Elsa’s body in a depredatory way. Trying to cover the blonde as best as she could, Maren stuck to her side like a worm. ‘’Mar- what are you going?’’ 

‘’Shielding you from them’’ Index finger in the air followed by a circular motion. ‘’The whole party’’ Elsa craned her neck, trying to get a better view past Maren’s frame. 

‘’Oh. It’s okay, I don’t care about them’’  _ But I do _ . The brunette smiled softly. ‘’I’ll go get something to drink’’ 

Ryder shot Maren a look and she nodded. ‘’I’ll go with you’’ 

The blonde sensed the reason behind the offering. ‘’I’ll be alright, Maren’’ 

‘’I insist’’ With a smile, Elsa complied. Together, they crossed the small distance between the group and the bar. Leaning over the nearly empty counter as the blonde ordered something and Maren asked for a beer. Before Elsa could even attempt to pay for the drinks, Maren slammed a 10-dollar bill on the counter. ‘’It’s on me this time’’ 

The blonde rolled her eyes and Maren felt satisfied. ‘’Just this time’’ Elsa whispered while leaning over. She took a long sip from her drink as she ordered a few shots of tequila. Maren looked at her with amazement as the girl gulped down three in a row. The way she licked her own salted hand, forced her to gulp down. With flushed cheeks, Elsa turned to meet Maren’s eyes. ‘’It’s cold, I need some warmth’’ 

‘’Tequila helps, right?’’ The blonde nodded, while offering her a round if she wanted but Maren shook her head. ‘’I’m trying to be the sober one in the group. You can have fun; I’ll take care of yo- everyone'’ 

Smiling, Elsa raised an eyebrow. ‘’Mother hen coming to play?’’ 

‘’Don’t tease me. Now, what’s on the schedule? We have plenty of room for dancing or drinking... or both’’  Honeymaren offered, looking around. 

Elsa pouted but before she could reply, a male approached them. ‘’Or you can parade your sexy body in that lovely costume’’ 

He was tall, with dark blonde hair and brown eyes. He was carrying a plastic cup and smelled like alcohol and cigarettes. Awful. Maren watched him lean over Elsa, his free hand touching her waist. But before she could do anything, Elsa pushed him away. ‘’How about you go fuck yourself?’’ 

The bad words slipping past her lips, made Maren  weak . If anything, she wanted to hear mor- _ stop it _ . ‘’ Oh c’mon sugar lips. Ditch your friend here and we can go to my car’’ 

She wanted to do something – punch him in the balls and watch him cry in pain was one of the options. If anything, the only option – but Elsa had everything under control. Amused she watched the girl take a step further, shortening the distance between her and the guy. ‘’I told you... go fuck yourself’’ She whispered, before raising her knee and hitting his groin. He screamed, throwing his drink to the ground as he cursed her out loud. A few guards approached them as Elsa explained he was harassing her. Immediately he was removed from the party. All the while Maren watched with a burning growing in between her legs. 

‘’Shit, that was hot’’ The brunette whispered, as Elsa caught her words with a grin. 

‘’Not to brag but I’ve gotten quite used to man hitting on me like this’’ She replied casually, turning to ask for another drink now that she had left hers unattended. 

Snorting, Maren shook her head. ‘’Not to brag? Don't be so humble. I’d be surprised if you didn’t have a line of stalkers’’ She spoke out loud, her cheeks reddening once Elsa met her gaze. Bright blue eyes had turned a darker shade, almost black and Maren gulped down. 

Both ordered another line of tequila  shots as Maren felt the overwhelming need to drown her arouse with anything. To hell the whole mother hen, her grown up friends could take care of themselves. They chatted a little more, Elsa’s stand obviously loosening up and hers, well... she felt more comfortable in whatever exchange both were having. Learning from the blonde was easy though something always lingered, a shadow creeping from behind that the brunette felt was left out. But everyone had their own share of demons lurking, yet something about Elsa’s made her mysterious and intriguing. 

‘’You’re so drunk’’  Honeymaren spoke, leaning forward. ‘’We’ve been here for two hours and you’re already wasted’’ The young girl mocked, clearly evidencing the inebriated state she was in too. 

A snort came from the blonde, who if anything looked more irresistible leaning over the counter with her cheeks flushed red. ‘’I- I’m not’’ Her tongue was numb, voice slurring as she giggled, taking a sip from her drink. ‘’You’re the drunk’’ 

Her blue eyes were still dark but now glimmered with something else. And the tickling on Maren’s lower belly refused to disappear, aggravating with every step Elsa took shortening the distance between them. Their shoulders were touching, a layer of sweat evident on the blonde’s pale, milky chest. It glistered with the flicker of the lights, followed by soft, carefree laughter that she wished she was sober enough to store in the confines of her mind. 

‘’Let’s go’’ The blonde’s voice lowered; eyes clouded with the booze taking over her slim form. Stumbling, she moved forward as Maren watched her with hungry eyes. ‘’Let’s go!’’ With arms stretched over her head Elsa exclaimed, giggling louder. 

Caramel eyes lowering to her inhibited body, free of any restriction as the blonde started to dance. Hips swaying, eyes closing, arms still stretched over her head. Mouth moving with the lyrics of whatever song continued to play, one she refused to acknowledge for her full attention was solely on the blonde, eardrums thudded with the speed of her heart. Her brain felt foggy, clouded not just by the amount of alcohol taking shelter in her body but from chamomile and lavender scents imprinted on her and a body she wanted more of, lips she wanted whispering her name and taste. There was too much of everything, too much of her. And she caved, deeply caved with a confidence granted by the booze. 

Taking a daring step forward, she shortened the distance between them as Elsa met her eyes, lowering her arms and pulling her closer. Their mouth colliding with many concealed feelings as their lips moved in sync. The world came to an end, though not really. Everything continued to move except those two bodies that refused to take a step apart. 

She brushed her lower lip – tasting strawberry lip gloss – as Elsa parted them to allow entrance, tongues dancing together. It was desperate and her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Painfully, she pulled away. Elsa’s chest coming in sharp panting, that she knew mirrored her own. She expected disappointment from blue eyes but got nothing, if anything more consent. ‘’Let’s go’’ Elsa’s determine eyes spoke, aligned with the words that left her mouth. 

Nodding, the brunette allowed one moment of clarity to search for her brother but found nothing. Refusing to let go of an opportunity like the one Elsa was offering, she decided to push any thought aside and grab her hand, leading her out of the party/parking lot. With no words exchanged between them, only the often squeeze of her hand. ‘’Where?’’ She dared to ask, breaking any form of silence settling between them.

‘’My place’’ And they did, walked under the moonlight and the cloudiness of their brains, fogged by the alcohol that increased their need for the other. 

She heard Elsa giggling as they walked down the street that seemed crowded than expected. A line of cars parked on the side of the street and she dismissed the idea of asking the blonde if she had drove there. Elsa pulled her hand away as she stopped. Pale fingers digging into her small bag. A shiny deep red flask clutched to her hand as she pulled the cap off. ‘’Have you ever tasted an expensive whiskey?’’ She asked, voice sultry as she handed the small flask over. 

Taking a sip, Maren gagged. ‘’Not my favorite beverage. Just wanted to feel fancy’’ 

‘’Over 6 million. I stole a little from my father’s office a few years ago. Was waiting for the right moment to share it with someone, especially after spending a week grounded for that  drunken raid’’ She added, taking a sip and almost emptying out the entire content. 

Watching her gulp down the liquid only made her desperate and once Elsa closed the flask, she pulled her closer. Her mouth tasted like strong whiskey, rich and luxurious. Just like everything she evoked, everything Maren wanted to taste and what she expected was the flavor of snow-like skin. 

To her surprise, the apartment wasn’t far at all and she fought the widening of her eyes at the foyer of the expensive condo. They took the elevator to the 15 th floor and she gulped down the anticipation. Pushing Elsa against the mirrored wall of the confined space, their lips met once again. Hands roaming the lengthy of pale skin as Elsa pushed her closer, hands pressing on the nape of her neck and playing with curly baby hairs. 

‘’Are you sure?’’  Honeymaren asked as they stood in front of the door, Elsa searching for the card in her bag. 

Looking up, Elsa’s now midnight blue eyes met hers. ‘’Hell yeah’’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In every story I'm writing I've reached the NSFW chapters and I'm like bleh   
> I don't feel like writing smut but it's been planned and ugh, I swear, I even listen to the fifty shades soundtrack with the sexy music and shit but mmm nope haha ffs   
> But that's just me being annoying because I have everything planned for this story, it's just that I don't feel like writinggggg, I don't feel like doing a damn thing really. Bleh. 
> 
> Aaaaanyway, you'll find an update soon... if I force myself to write the next chapter haha fuck I might copy and paste the ones I already wrote for other stories hahahaha no no no that's lame and wrong. Have some dignity kate!
> 
> So yeah, thanks for putting up with my endless end notes hehe  
> Have a great week!


	6. Chapter 6

Morning rays filtered through the open drapes of the window, landing directly on her face.  Honeymaren groaned, feeling her headache intensifying with each attempted movement. Regardless, she cracked one eye open, scanning her surroundings. 

The room was bigger than hers but not giant. Plain simple, from the white of the walls to the black of the furniture. There were few decorations aside from a rubber fug placed by the corner and some other form of succulents neatly lined on top of the empty desk. It looked modern; the space emanated a sense of calm yet didn’t reflect any form of personality. 

Her eyes traveled to the two doors by the right wall opposite to the large window, wondering what was hidden behind those. 

For a second, her mind refused to let any form of thinking from happening. Maren thought it was the headache but while she knew it wasn’t her bedroom and she had not recollection of getting there in the night – or even with whom – there was a calming aura and no thinking at all. It wasn’t until her eyes landed on the body sleeping next to her that she realized where she was.

A hand flew to her mouth as her eyes widened. ‘’What?’’ She whispered surprised. 

Elsa was sprawled over the mattress, covered by only a thin black sheet. The dark of the fabric enhanced the softness and paleness of the vast expanse of snow-like skin, decorated with a few scratches, long and thin.  Honeymaren gulped down, her heartbeat increasing at the anticipation of whatever transpired in the room. 

She was naked too, under the same sheets, where she could feel the warmth spreading from the serene figure in deep slumber lying next to her. Thick lashes adorning her closed eyes, faded freckles covering her rosy cheeks and soft snores escaping past her lips. 

Honeymaren could contemplate the young girl forever if it meant witnessing her beauty with the intensity it was offered that morning after. She didn’t know what had happened between them, though it took no clairvoyant to figure out. Was she pissed at herself for not remembering? Of course. Did she regret it? Not at all. Even if she couldn’t remember shit.

Carefully she threw herself back to the soft pillow, taking in the scent of freshness and lavender. It was early morning and while the repercussions of heavily drinking were still lingering, the throbbing headache had turned into a bearable pain. Which she didn’t deserve at all. She had promised – not only to herself but Ryder – that she’d behave, yet every logical reasoning was left behind once she spotted the costume chosen by Elsa. 

With a wide smile, she reminisced about that exact moment in which her breath was taken away with the force of a hurricane wanting nothing more but to cause chaos. Good chaos. Though more like internal disarray to her heart and brain. A goal accomplished that had led directly to the dream-like morning. 

Movement forced Maren’s smile to falter as Elsa stirred, a pale arm stretched out seeking out for her. It happened way too quickly for her brain to catch up with the action and it wasn’t until Elsa’s full body laid on her chest, curling up over her body that she released the breath she had been holding back. 

It wasn’t just the intimate moment of having someone as beautiful as Elsa close to her but more like the burning it spread through her body at the skin on skin contact. She was a horny teenager, afraid of moving in case the comforting position would be ripped away from her. 

So, she waited and waited for what felt like ages until Elsa moved again, snuggling deeper into her neck and exhaling softly.  Honeymaren eyed the girl, waiting for any form of response that would tell her she was still in deep sleep. Instead, a bright blue eye cracked open lazily, followed by a frown and sudden realization. 

Elsa pulled her head away from Maren’s chest, though making no attempt at untangling herself from her lower limbs ‘’What?’’ Elsa whispered astonished, her rosy cheeks turning redder and eyes widening in surprise. ‘’Oh’’ 

Honeymaren clicked her tongue. ‘’Yeah’’ 

At the awkward reply – that sent the brunette into internal panicking  – Elsa chuckled. ‘’So... I guess we...’’ With the pale hand that was resting atop Maren’s exposed abdomen, Elsa attempted to explain the situation, which was naturally amusing for the brunette. 

‘’Sex, Elsa. You can say sex’’ The retort forced Elsa to hide her face away from the brunette. ‘’It’s okay, we’re okay’’ 

‘’Are we? Is—was this okay?’’ Still hiding in between Maren’s shoulder and neck, Elsa asked with a nervous voice. 

It was dumb really, the lack of knowledge coming from a very smart woman.  Honeymaren knew she was anything but shy with her feelings, although she was glad her intentions had only embarrassed herself and not the blonde. ‘’Yes, it’s okay’’ 

A deafening silence followed, cut abruptly by the doorbell ringing followed by loud knocking. Untangling herself in a rush, Elsa rose from the bed as  Honeymaren eyed her body in all its naked glory, one that was quickly covered by a satin robe that was hanging over a chair. Covering herself with the sheets, she groaned loudly at her own stupidity. 

_ Get it together, Maren.  _

A male voice reached up to her and she pulled the covers back, forcing her attention to the hushed conversation happening outside the room. Elsa had left the door ajar but the apartment was bigger than she imagined and even so, she was safely hidden inside. 

‘’No, I’m alone’’ Elsa’s voice hid a nervousness that had Maren standing up from the bed and searching for something to cover herself with. She thought of her costume and the scattered clothing items on the floor. Grabbing her lacy undies, she put them on, followed by a shirt that Elsa had in a corner. 

A big cat doing a cartwheel – or more like a  catwheel – had the brunette snorting, masking her amuse with her hand. The hushed voices continued their murmuring and she peeked out to see what was going on. 

A tall red-haired man stood opposite to Elsa, his back to Maren. He was tall, taller than Elsa and even Ryder, with a wide back and big stand. It screamed authority and Maren gulped down her fears as she eyed the blonde, who stood leaning over the counter with her eyes on the floor. 

‘’I expect better from you, Elsa’’ The man muttered, reaching out to cup her face with nothing but harshness, which had Maren tightening her fists. ‘’This is unacceptable, I won’t tolerate that behavior anymore’’ 

She watched Elsa nod sharply, eyes rising to meet his face. ‘’Yes, grandfather’’ 

_ Oh _ . The man standing there was  Runeard Arendelle nonetheless. The man itself, powerful enough to buy an entire city, an entire company. A millionaire. Elsa’s grandfather. Still, she felt a small pang of burning hate towards the man. 

He left shortly after but Elsa remained in her spot, shaken by whatever word exchange had transpired between them. She looked a little heartbroken, lost in her own thinking as her eyes looked up to meet the worried frown of Maren. 

‘’It looks good on you’’ Elsa whispered, smiling sadly. 

Taking daring steps,  Honeymaren shortened the distance between them and stood in front of the blonde. ‘’Don’t you think it’d look better on the floor of your room?’’ She teased, smirking at the girl and mentally high-fiving herself for the smooth comeback. 

She took another step, Elsa remaining in her spot as Maren pressed her lips on Elsa’s. They were sweet but mostly soft, her veins pumping courage she had taken from who knows where. But she was there, kissing Elsa, the girl she had a huge crush on and with whom had spent the night – allegedly. Maren felt powerful, on top of the world until warm hands landed on her chest, pushing her away. 

‘’I think you should go’’ Elsa whispered, unable to look at her in the eyes. 

‘’What?’’ 

Looking up, she met the devastated eyes of the blonde. A deep blue turned into grey-ish, hiding much more she let people think of. But Maren wanted to be there and she knew Elsa wanted her to be there. ‘’You should go. This—it shouldn’t have happened’’ Frowning, Maren nodded though not entirely sure or certain of her intentions of leaving. She hesitated before turning around but Elsa stopped her. ‘’You can have it’’ 

The shirt that smelled like Elsa. It was offered to her as a consolation prize and she felt anger at the gesture, yet couldn’t find it in herself to take it off or say something. Instead, she just complied and headed to the bedroom, grabbing her Pocahontas dress and putting it as a skirt. She grabbed her shoes and headed to the main door, all while Elsa watched her with a  sadness she had only seen in people grieving. 

Was she grieving the loss of whatever had happened between them?  Honeymaren couldn’t stand the deafening silence and before reaching the door, she turned to meet her eyes. ‘’Why?’’ 

‘’Uh?’’

‘’Do you regret it?’’ The brunette asked, feigning confidence as she feared the answer. Yes, it would be soul-crushing to have her crush tell her she regretted them together but it was needed, she deserved an honest answer. 

Elsa slowly shook her head, offering a smirk. ‘’Not at all’’ 

‘’Then why, why do you want it to end this way?’’ Honesty poured into her words through genuine concern. 

Elsa fidgeted with her fingers; an anxious manner Maren had noticed more times she liked to assume. It was a bit of a stalker- ish move, to observe the blonde’s every detail, but she couldn’t help it. ‘’It’s complicated. You don’t want complicated’’ 

‘’You don’t know that’’  Honeymaren offered, her frown morphing into sadness. Silence followed her words again and she fought the need to scream out loud. ‘’Okay, I’ll go then’’ 

And she did, she put her shoes on and did the whole walk of shame parade from the blonde’s apartment to her own. Her feet, head and body ached but she didn’t care about those. Something had happened and she feared it had been her fault, though there was nothing in her mind that could potentially tell her it had been. After Elsa’s grandfather had shown, the blonde’s whole demeanor changed and she bit her inner cheek in irritation at the man, who had ruined their day.

Honeymaren planned on making breakfast and maybe, reenacting what had happened the night before. But no, he arrived and took every opportunity with him. She groaned, entering the apartment and taking her shoes off. 

‘’Mare?’’ Ryder asked, appearing from his room. ‘’Where the fuck were you?’’ He crossed his arms over his naked torso. 

‘’Shut up, Ryder’’ She ignored him, padding to her bedroom. 

He grabbed her arm, stopping her from running away. ‘’What happened? I know you left with Elsa; did something happen?’’ he wiggled his eyebrows but it didn’t get the reaction he expected. ‘’Hey, you look defeated. Oh no, nothing happened!’’ 

‘’Shut up’’ She pushed him away but his grip was stronger. ‘’Yeah, something happened, we spent the night together and then something ruined it and now I’m here, wanting to curl up in my bed but being forced to dig into my own pain’’ 

Ryder let go of her, understanding her words and taking pity on his little sister. ‘’I’d make lunch, go take a shower and rest’’ He offered and she smiled, kissing his cheek and moving to her bedroom. ‘’Hey, remember... there are more fish in the sea’’

Maren smiled at him before entering the room and closing the door behind. Maybe he was right, there were more fish in the sea and perhaps this was the sign she was waiting for, that life continued despite everything. 

Her phone buzzed in her small bag and she dug to find it. A text message:  _ ‘I’m an idiot. I want to share complicated with you, if you’re willing to listen. - Els’  _

Maren smiled. Now _that_ was a sign. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Open diary entry]  
> I was lying on my bed the other night, listening to music, contemplating life before falling asleep and it hit me. I wrote something - not this - that I may or may not use for a one-shot in a future, unless I suddenly get a partner and dedicate it to them. Anyway, I was writing and everything made sense, my brain cleared and ideas were running, making a mess and everything.   
> So, here I am with a new chapter that I actually liked. There's no NSFW content... for now lol can't promise anything but it is what it is.   
> I hope inspiration doesn't leave me, let's pray.   
> That's all,   
> hope you enjoyed this fluff. And yes, Runeard *insert vomit emoji* let's ignore him in the meantime. 
> 
> Have a great day/night.  
> See ya soon!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,  
> It's me.

They settled on a day: Wednesday after classes, around 5pm. Where? Elsa had offered her apartment after Rapunzel left with Eugene to the coast for the week. Was she nervous? Yes, she was.

Monday went in a blur, by far the busiest day of the week, but then Tuesday came so slow Maren wanted to bury herself alive. It was torture, her thoughts going back and forth to every single moment shared with Elsa. Not only that, her thoughts often turned into daydreaming about whatever resolution came from the awaited conversation, if there was anything to resolve. 

Tuesday night, Maren didn’t sleep. And when Wednesday finally arrived, it brought the raging winter with it, a blizzard that matched the storm in her heart. Snow flurried down relentlessly, the wind roaring outside with a strength that scared her, even if she had seen worse, even if she had experienced worse. It felt like a sign, one to which she refused to listen. But she was terrified of the intensity of her feelings and how quickly someone she barely knew had claimed them. She wasn’t sure if it was the same with Elsa. If her situation mirrored whatever she sought in the blonde. If this thing she wanted that much, this relationship she was so desperate to build and grow belonged to her at all. If she was meant to receive everything she was giving.

Maren paid no attention to the only class she had that day (Communications 100), instead her gaze was fixed outside. Some people ran, seeking cover, others enjoyed the falling snow, and the rest simply ignored it. But Maren loved it. The feeling of that coldness seeping through her body, the freshness in the air, the smell of fresh snow. Everything was divine, bringing her back home to her parents and evenings filled with cuddles by the fireplace. Everything that was ripped from her in a heartbreaking way, one she learnt to live with and accept, a fate that was always meant to belong to her and Ryder. 

After class, she stepped out onto the campus with a sigh, the wet snow splattering the umbrella she carried over her head, the only shield she had, and set off towards Elsa’s apartment. Her heart was open, willing to accept the same, but that openness terrified her. Her stomach churned with anticipation of a talk she desperately needed but somehow dreaded. But it was just Elsa. There was nothing to worry about.

The street was crowded, trees adorned the sidewalks, and it felt like she was in a totally different place as she entered Elsa’s neighborhood. She had walked this same path the morning after the night with Elsa, but she didn’t take note of what was happening around her. But now, she realized the part of the city she was stepping in and her eyes widened in wonder. 

Everything was white, from the tree tops to the empty benches. It was the wonderland she always loved, the coldness she always missed. The buildings were tall, modern and beautiful. The few coffee shops were crowded with people seeking shelter from the blizzard, the smell of freshly brewed coffee lingering, despite the snowstorm’s attempt at washing it away. 

Maren’s eyes landed on the largest building, gulping down her nervousness before entering. The foyer was wide, with massive window panes, white floors and plants in every corner. It felt luxurious and it looked expensive. She smiled nervously at the receptionist before explaining the reason behind her visit. Once she was allowed to enter — after Elsa had been called and informed of her arrival — she walked over to the elevator and waited for the eternity it took for the doors to open. She was engulfed by warmth the minute she stepped onto the 15th floor, the illuminated hallway seeming endless. She stopped by Elsa’s door, the same one she vaguely remembered from that drunken night. 

The door opened before she could knock, Elsa stood there with a soft smile and Maren just knew how much she’d do for this moment to last forever. The blonde wore the comfiest-looking sweater Maren had ever seen, along with grey leggings, her hair braided to the side. 

‘’Hi.’’ Elsa spoke first. 

‘’Hi,’’ Maren replied as she waited for Elsa to let her in. Clearing her throat, she looked up to meet Elsa’s eyes. ‘’Are you going to…?’’

Taking a step to the side, Elsa allowed Maren to enter the large apartment. ‘’Do you want something? Coffee? Tea?’’ 

Maren, who had walked to the window, amazed by the view, turned around. ‘’No, thank you.’’ 

There was silence after as both looked at each other. What was the next step? To talk, Maren knew that, but Elsa stood rooted to her place by the kitchen, apparently thinking. Clearing her throat again, Maren brought her back to reality, her blue eyes momentarily locking with hers before looking away. 

‘’Sorry,’’ Elsa apologized right away. ‘’Take a seat, it’s alright.’’

Maren did as she was told, trying to ignore the awkwardness in the air. It wasn’t like she didn’t know where she was, or who she was with. But it wasn’t that, it was the conversation, what she hoped would come out of it and what she refused to accept. ‘’So…’’ she started, waiting for Elsa to continue. 

Elsa sat on the couch opposite Maren, hands hidden by the long sleeves of her sweater as she bit her bottom lip. ‘’I don’t regret what happened between us, I want to be clear about that, but we can’t — I can’t do this,’’ Elsa said, leaning back on the couch. ‘’I’m sorry if I’ve been leading you on—’’ 

‘’Wait, what?’’ Maren asked, her mind trying to wrap around the words coming from Elsa. It felt like a rehearsed speech, and there was nothing but coldness, a far cry from the woman she woke up to that morning after. ‘’Leading me on? I’m not an idiot, Elsa. I don’t let people lead me anywhere, I go wherever I want—’’ 

‘’It can’t be here, Maren. It can’t be me. There’s nothing I can offer, you’ll get nothing from me.’’ Elsa’s voice was devastated as she refused to meet Maren’s gaze. ‘’I’m sorry, again. But it’s beyond me.’’ 

Maren scoffed, her eyes glued to the girl in front. Elsa had shrunk into the couch, making herself as small as possible, but Maren still saw her. ‘’Why? Is it because I don’t have money? Or because I live in a shitty and small apartment?” She paused, then said, more quietly, “Or is it because I’m a woman?’’ 

Elsa nodded the smallest amount, unable to meet her gaze. She took a deep breath, then said, ‘’I’m sorry. I just— I know you like me, and I know you don’t regret what happened, and neither do I, but I’m not able to give you what you want from me.’’ 

Maren couldn’t mask the hurt she felt, she had prepared herself for the worst case scenario but it wasn’t that, somehow this felt worse. Her throat felt constricted and she wanted to yell out loud, smash something for being so stupid, for believing something could happen. Instead, all she did was nod at Elsa. ‘’Fine, I’ll leave then.’’ 

The words were bitter, her body working on automatic as she rose from the couch, grabbing her backpack and turning to leave, but Elsa stopped her before she could take a step. ‘’No, hang on. Maren, I’m sorry, I just— I can’t give you what you want, and deserve. But I don’t want to lose you, you’re a great friend and I just... I don’t want to lose another friend.’’ 

Maren wanted to ask more, but she found herself too hurt and humiliated. Her eyes landed on Elsa’s face as she watched a tear run down her cheek. Elsa wiped it away immediately, but Maren had already seen it. She knew Elsa was suffering too, but for what exact reason? She didn’t know. It was funny in a way, how much she had underestimated the young girl, thinking she was naive for not realizing Maren was head over heels for her. But it turned out Elsa had been quietly observing all along.

With an open heart, Maren took the toughest decision she had in a while, letting go of something that didn’t really belong to her, but that made her feel good. She couldn’t believe that, in the end it was her who had to decide what to do with the situation transpiring between the two of them, but she knew it would be worth it. Or so she hoped. ‘’We can be friends.’’ 

Elsa looked up, confused. ‘’We don’t have to if you don’t want to.’’ 

‘’Damn it, Elsa. I’m saying I want to be friends. I can move on from this and pretend it never existed, it’s just a silly crush anyway.’’ Maren swore she saw a small pang of hurt cross Elsa’s eyes, but it was gone in an instant. The words she said were anything but true, it wasn’t a silly crush, it meant more than she said, and it hurt, of course it hurt. But she was going to be the bigger person and put her own feelings aside. 

‘’Okay,’’ Elsa muttered, letting go of her legs and sitting up straight. ‘’If we’re friends, then... I can share some of my chocolate stash hidden under the bed.’’ Maren grinned, nodding eagerly as Elsa stood up, hurrying towards the bedroom before returning with a small box. She offered it to Maren with a smile. ‘’Pick anything you want.’’ 

They spent the rest of the evening together, talking about random things and pretending there was nothing else but friendship growing between the two. They ordered something to eat, they watched a movie and when Maren had to leave, Elsa said goodbye with a hug — the warmest Maren had ever felt.

Even if things seemed okay between them, Maren knew they weren’t. But in Ryder’s words, there were plenty of fish in the sea, and she just happened to come across one that wasn’t willing to offer her what she needed. And that was okay, she could keep looking around and pretending everything was okay, until it was. In the meantime, she had found another friend, and she was going to try her hardest to keep the friendship intact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Open diary entry]
> 
> Oh hello! It's been a while, I know. But I'm here, finally. And I know you must be wondering why tf does Kate love to write angst. I don't have the answer for that, but who doesn't love a little drama?   
> The fun thing is WE know Elsa's a little (A LOT, IF NOT COMPLETELY) gay for Maren but the girl just doesn't realize yet. But she will, one day she will and we will all be happy again. 
> 
> I hope I update soon, so you guys don't forget about me :( 
> 
> Have a great week, see ya soon. 
> 
> [Close diary entry]
> 
> Oh, I forgot lol thanks to my buddie Kyle for proofreading this and fixing the chaos it was hehe


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angsty writer is back.
> 
> TW: Mentions of drugs and alcohol use

It had been a couple of weeks since her talk with Elsa. It didn’t get easier with time to pretend there were no feelings involved, but Maren tried her best to be a good friend to Elsa. She had made her Tinder profile public — per Ryder’s request — and had been on a couple of dates, all pretty decent but not fulfilling at all. In reality, Maren was only searching for some fun, something — or someone — to take her mind off of the heartache that Elsa had caused. It wasn't just the heartache but the burning shame Maren felt at failing to see every proof of Elsa's ambivalence.

Elsa didn’t want her, and that was okay. Or so Maren told herself.

Ryder had been adamant that she forget about the whole ordeal, insisting she was pretty, and smart, and had a whole life ahead to find love or any casual stress-relieving hook up. It took a few days for Maren to take his advice, there was no point in dwelling about something she couldn’t have and never actually had. Elsa wanted them to be friends and she was going to be just that. 

It was that same thought that drove her to text one of the dates she had had a few days ago, to ask if she wanted to hang out again. Aurora was her name, an art major with long blonde hair and warm grey eyes. Aurora was kind, gentle and sweet, so sweet Maren was terrified of doing something wrong and hurting her, like stepping on a puppy’s tail. 

On Tuesday, she saw her again, and everything seemed to fit nicely. Something in Maren’s chest was alleviating with time, and she wasn’t sure if it was her somehow getting over Elsa or the fact it had been that easy all along. Regardless, Maren was committed to making the most of their time together, and after a stroll by the beach, they settled on another date the following Friday night. 

It seemed like it took a month for Friday to get there. Their university was widely known for being one of the most strict and prestigious institutions. However, it was also known for the extravagant parties hosted by stressed young adults with no responsibilities and loads of money to waste. Maren had seen it first hand, the mess it was to party with people who didn’t give a shit, who had everything so many wished they had. But she was not in a position to judge, especially because she attended classes alongside them, “making connections”, her aunt Yelena called it. 

When Friday finally arrived, Maren was nervous. For the first time since Elsa, she was truly nervous about a date. She liked Aurora enough to want to be better, to want things to work out. For that same reason, she made the effort of picking up an outfit other than the sweatshirt and leggings she found so comfortable. Going through her closet, Maren chose some black skinny jeans and a yellow t-shirt with the pride flag embroidered. As if her whole demeanour didn’t scream gay  _ quite _ loud enough already. 

‘’Ready to rock and roll?’’ Ryder stepped into her room, throwing himself onto the bed. The usual. ‘’Ready to get some action tonight?’’ He wiggled his eyebrows at her and Maren just rolled her eyes. ‘’Oh c’mon! Don’t be such a prude!’’ 

Turning around, Maren crossed her arms over her chest. ‘’I’m not a prude, Ry. I just want to have fun, I’m not expecting anything really… though I wouldn’t be against the idea of getting some.’’ She mumbled the last bit, catching the smirk Ryder offered. She turned to the mirror to finish her make-up, ignoring the look he gave her. ‘’Why are you tagging along anyway? Is there someone you’re planning on seeing?’’ 

Ryder blushed immediately. ‘’Shut up.’’ 

‘’Oh, someone stole Ry’s heart. C’mon tell me, who is it?’’ Maren turned to meet his eyes, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.

‘’This boy. We have a class together and he always smiles at me,’’ Ryder commented, rolling over the bed and facing the ceiling. ‘’He’s really hot, with his jet black hair and blue eyes— ’’ 

‘’You’re so gay,’’ Maren blurted, sharing an honest and proud smile. 

Ryder scoffed, meeting her eyes. ‘’So are you, gosh.’’ 

Once Maren was ready, they left the apartment and went their separate ways. The campus was pretty close, and Aurora’s place was only a block to the west. November was coming to an end. The nights lengthened and grew colder, but the city was still wide awake below the darkened sky. December and the holidays were approaching fast, though not before the arrival of finals’ week, but that was something she was determined not to think about that night. 

Maren’s eyes landed on the silhouette of Aurora, who stood on the sidewalk, glued to her phone, illuminating her features with a soft blue glow. She wore a pair of light jeans with a pale pink blouse, and her hair was in a loose ponytail. ‘’Hey stranger.’’ 

Aurora looked up with a smile. ‘’Maren!’’ She wrapped her arms around Maren, who smiled at the kind gesture, hugging her back. ‘’How are you?’’

‘’I’m good, excited and you? How have you been?’’ 

‘’Excited too! I always have such a good time when I’m with you.’’ The sincerity behind the comment had Maren blushing. She returned the sentiment with a heartfelt smile and grabbed Aurora’s hand, leading the way towards the party.

The sun had set a short while ago, but the sky was still painted with streaks of orange and pink. The relative quietness of the evening was slowly overtaken by the sound of loud music, laughter and conversation. The streets got ever more crowded, and it wasn’t until Maren found a pair of brown eyes and a bad-looking goatee that she exhaled. Eugene and Rapunzel were waving at her through a window. 

The surprise came when Aurora also returned Rapunzel’s wave. ‘’Do you know Rapunzel?’’ Maren asked.

‘’Of course! We’re both art majors,’’ Aurora explained while entering the house. This time it was her who dragged Maren along to join the small group of apparently common friends. Raps and Aurora greeted each other with a strong hug, as Maren waved at the rest of the group. 

‘’Cheer up, Nattura! We can suffer later, tonight is all about the fun,’’ Eugene exclaimed while wrapping an arm around her shoulder. 

In less than an hour, the party had reached its peak. With her third beer in hand, Maren turned around, looking around the crowd. From the corner of her eye she spotted Ryder speaking to a young man and she smiled to herself. 

Taking the last sip of her beer, she turned back to see Aurora walking towards her with a smile. She’d wandered off a little while ago, talking to Rapunzel, but the brunette was leaving to do something else, freeing Aurora up to go back to the group. ‘’Shall I get you something?’’ Maren offered, pointing at the kitchen area of the big house. 

‘’A beer, thanks!’’ Feeling confident, Maren leaned in to plant a kiss on Aurora’s cheek. 

With a smirk, Maren turned to the kitchen and left a flustered Aurora behind. She was feeling pretty great, the party was chill and fun, her friends were having a blast, and Aurora seemed to be enjoying herself. Everything was falling into place with an ease that surprised Maren. 

She grabbed two beers from the big freezer, and had just turned around to head back to Aurora when her eyes landed on platinum blonde hair in the backyard. Elsa’s arms were wrapped around her midsection, her eyes downcast. To Maren’s surprise, Rapunzel was talking to her, and seemed to be knocking some sense into the blonde, her arms on Elsa’s shoulders. Maren was curious and concerned for Elsa’s wellbeing, who looked smaller with each second. She wanted to be there for her, like the friend she had promised she’d be. But something, some feeling, stopped her from approaching, and she took that as a sign. Turning around, she returned to the party and handed Aurora her drink. 

Another hour passed, and all Maren could think about was Elsa and her slumped shoulders, along with her sad, resigned face. Something was off, but Maren wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what exactly. Rapunzel had returned shortly after Maren did, with no sign of Elsa, though she had sported a frown and a heaviness that took her sparkle away momentarily. 

Eventually, Aurora drove Elsa from Maren’s thoughts as her hands traveled up and down her back. Aurora tasted like blueberries and smelled as sweet as Maren’s favorite candies, but it never moved further than making out, and Maren had to excuse herself to the bathroom, to take a break and get her thoughts straight. 

After clumsily walking in on people having their way with each other in the downstairs bathrooms, she moved to the second floor. Maren groaned — it was equally as crowded as it was downstairs. She was just about to look elsewhere when the door at the end of the hall cracked open. She moved towards it before anyone else got a chance, passing a young man exiting the room, his hair disheveled and his shirt askew. She entered to find a small bedroom, with a couple doors on the far wall. She moved around the bed, which looked like it had been recently “used”, and pulled one of the doors open, revealing a closet half the size of the room itself. Huffing, Maren closed it and moved to the other, flinging it open — straight into someone inside.

‘’I’m so sor— Elsa?’’ Maren’s apology died as she stared at deep blue eyes. Elsa was leaning on the counter of the small bathroom, her cheeks flushed and her eyes dilated. A thin layer of sweat covered her exposed shoulders and collarbones as Maren bit her lip. There was a smell, a very easy to identify smell, and Maren gulped down. ‘’Are you okay?’’ 

Elsa grinned, crossing her arms over her chest, but there was something about her grin that bothered Maren. ‘’Yes.’’ 

‘’Can I— ?’’ Maren looked around, hoping Elsa would take the hint and leave her alone to use the room. Nodding, Elsa picked something up from the counter, and Maren caught a glimpse of it as Elsa began to move past— it was a small joint, half used, almost gone. Maren grabbed Elsa’s arm before she could leave, looking intensely into Elsa’s blue eyes, which she now saw were bloodshot. The signs were evident as she looked closer, and for the first time, she wanted to smack the girl rather than empathize with her. 

‘’Feeling bold?’’ Elsa taunted, lowering her arms to touch Maren’s sides. 

Pulling Elsa’s hands away, Maren took a step back. ‘’Are you high?’’ Maren asked rhetorically.

Elsa’s smile faltered, as her blue eyed turned darker. ‘’No?’’ 

‘’Bullshit.’’

‘’I’m not.’’

Raising an eyebrow, Maren crossed her arms over her chest. ‘’Then what were you doing here?’’ 

A smirk crawled across Elsa’s face with unsettling ease. ‘’Having sex.’’ Maren suddenly remembered the boy who had passed her in the hall, his messy hair and clothes, along with the state of the bed, and she felt sudden anger towards the blonde. Unjustified? Definitely. 

Silence lingered between them as Maren tried to think of something to say. Her thoughts were interrupted by soft lips crashing onto hers, as Elsa pushed herself closer, pinning Maren to the counter. Elsa’s rosy lips moved to Maren’s jaw, and earlobe, nibbing softly before leaving butterfly kisses down her neck. The sensation had Maren enraptured as her own hands traveled to Elsa’s waist. 

Elsa pulled away from Maren’s body to return to her mouth, and it was in that fraction of a second that clarity seeped through her foggy brain. Her hands seized Elsa’s shoulders and shoved her away. ‘’What?’’ Elsa said, as though she didn’t understand why Maren would have broken the kiss.

‘’What do you think you’re doing?’’ Maren spat.

Elsa licked her lips, frowning. ‘’I love you.’’ 

Maren had had enough of Elsa’s behavior. If there was something she had learned these past weeks was that what Elsa felt for her was anything but love and she wasn’t willing to go down that road again. Maren was happy, she deserved better than to get jerked around. ‘’I’m not a toy for you to use whenever you feel like it. I’m a person and I have feelings, so now back the fuck off, get your shit together and leave me alone.’’ 

Elsa looked at her for a second, stunned, but nodded regardless, moving away and out of Maren’s way as the latter stormed out of the room into the hallway. It was suffocating. Between the many people making out and the lack of ventilation, Maren felt like she was choking. She ran down the stairs and was only finally able to breathe when she reached the front yard, inhaling sharply and leaning against a tree for support. 

Her limbs felt numb, her heart raced, her mouth was dry. She wanted to leave, go home and take a shower, get rid of Elsa’s hands roaming her body and the taste of her mouth and red lipstick. 

‘’Hey.’’ Maren looked up to see Aurora approaching, a drink in her hand and sporting a kind smile. ‘’I saw you run outside, everything okay?’’ 

Maren straightened up, forcing herself to smile despite the turmoil of feelings growing inside her chest. ‘’Yes, everything’s alright.’’ Grabbing Aurora’s hand, Maren looked at her. ‘’Let’s go somewhere else?’’ 

‘’I thought you’d never ask.’’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yes, you're correct, this bitch decided to update, finally. I know, I know. I'll try my hardest next time, I promise you. 
> 
> For once I'd like to deeply thank my baby AltForFrozen for helping me edit this, he's the best. You should go read his stories, they don't suck at all and I mean it.  
> I hope the next update comes faster, this whole not having a schedule sucks lol 
> 
> So yeah,  
> Have a great Sunday wherever you are.  
> See ya!


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